Stopping the violence

A Forum for Stopping Violence
One consequence of losing Daniel is that we have been given a platform to voice our ideas about stopping violence. However, being victims of violence has not given us any more insights or answers to stopping it than any one else. We want to start a discussion on these pages about what can be done, and we need input from you.

At the bottom of this page you can
submit your ideas about the causes of violence, how to prevent violence or detect it before it manifests itself. We will post relevant messages on this page for others to consider and comment on.

An idea of ours to start the discussion:
In addition to a movie's rating (G, PG, PG-13, etc.), why not have a specific violence rating and/or a body count.

Frank, from Aurora, Colorado wrote:

A great opportunity to turn tragedy into something beneficial has been wasted. A gun is an inanimate object. It is a deranged mind that pulls the trigger. Instead of wasting energy on gun control, you should be an advocate for free mental health care/access at schools and communities.

Lon, from Littleton Colorado says:
It seems to me that there are many issues that need to be re-evaluted after this tragedy. As a start the making of graphic, horrific video games should, at a minimum, be restricted to adults who are not so impressionable.

Theresa, from Tucson says:
The problems start very early, children's education, societal views,and what our children see and learn from videos, movies and our culture. But problems go much deeper. We need to address all issues before us. For example, we need to provide help for families with troubled, aggressive children. We cannot just turn our backs anymore, on any of our problens.

John from Colorado says:
... Really just one moment of pure honesty is all it takes to see that our hearts are dark and self-centered. This is were we should look for help!...The only one who can heal and change our darkened hearts is God Himself... I don't have a gun nor have I commited any violence but I still have need for God to cleanse my heart and change me... It's only through a realtionship with God my father that has changed me and is continuing to change my heart from darkness to light.

Susan Nelson from South Carolina says:
...have required Anger Managenent all Elementary, Junior High and High Schools...many parents fail to teach their children this vital skill...It is well worth tax payers' money....

Brad from Virginia says:

Violence is not the problem. Hate is the problem! Let us address the hate. And then and only then shall we find the answers

A Teacher from Littleton says:
We need to revisit the way in which we raise males in America. We teach them to hide their feelings. Eventually they are unable to recognize their feelings. We ask girls "how do you feel?" We ask boys "what do you think?" There's something wrong with that.

Wesley from Colorado says:
Mandatory participation of youth in society through work programs. The regimen of physical investment and contribution (not education) produces useful, obedient, civilized, invested members of a group. Societal dropouts, left to themselves, will focus on maniacal cures for their angst.

Terri from Colorado says:
We have to be very persistent with our elected officials that gun control is an issue that we won't forget at election time.

Donna from Pittsburgh says:
I feel that the problem with violent children is all about their parents.children are no longer disciplined, there are no consequences for their actions.Pay attention to your kids, spend time with them and discipline them appropriately!

Lisa from Colorado says:
Maybe we could start a program for youths to have someone to "talk" with on the computer when they need a friend...the youth, in turn, may gain self worth through this internet relationship.

Susan from South Carolina says:
My suggestion for preventing violence is that we MUST place more psychologists in EVERY school in America. NOT 2 Psychologists for 2,000 students, but several more per school to work with the faculty and the students for detecting warning signs and preventing each school shooting there were BLATANT warning signs that no one seemed to notice...
Also, it seems to me that violence originates from low self esteem. We need more school counselors in our schools to detect these at risk students and work on their issues BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

Janice from Atlanta says:
Blame the people...the inattentive parents who allowed this hate to bloom, the students who knew, the criminal unlicensed dealer, the lack of metal detectors at the school...Blaming the guns is too easy.

John from San Francisco says:
I am amazed at how much attention is devoted to physical health and how little is paid to Mental Health. If our schools can provide nurses they can provide therapists. If gym classess are mandatory why not classes on healthy thinking...

Gail from New Orleans says:
Where did the kids get the money to sustain their hate?...Were parents substituting money in lieu of their time as a means of palliative parenting? When I grew up I had a job, but as long as I was a minor, my expenditures were scrutinized. Kids rights DO end where parents begin...

Frank from Wisconsin says:
...mediocrity and apathy has taken over. The despicable, despective term "nerd" was cast into the limelight in movies/media and ridiculed...children were told by their elders that honesty, fidelity, patriotism, respect for the law and individual achievement were the goals of fools. America is reaping the harvest that was sown...

An anonymous person says:
...the decision to own a firearm is an individual decision. However, if you choose to own a firearm you should take precautions to store it securely and you should be properly trained on both how and when to use it.

Norman from Colorado says:
There must be a two pronged effort to reduce violence; cultural and legislative. The cultural aspect will take longer. Parents must realize raising good children is the most important job they have. One parent may have to sacrifice their full time job in order to be there for the children. This may mean not having that bigger house, more expensive cars, and 'toys', in order to raise their children. Spending time with your kids is more important than the battle of conspicuous consumption so popular in this culture....Legislatively...every poll I've ever seen shows that 80-90% of the population favors some form of meaningful gun control...We as part of the vast majority of citizens must become more organized, and must make politicians aware that their stance on gun control will be a deciding issue on how we vote. The second politicians realize that opposing gun control will cost them more votes than they gain, is when you will see more effective gun control legislation

Becky from Hawaii says:
As much as people don't want to hear this...what kids view on TV and in movies (garbage in/garbage out) is what they think the world is really like...As long as we feed their young minds with garbage...I pray they don't hurt anyone along the way.

Christopher from Massachusetts says:
My concern is that there seems to be many lost children out there. Their parents send them to school expecting that teachers will teach them the lessons of life. Teachers send kids home thinking their parents are doing it... both parents are at work, who is raising the children? The television, magazines, and movies, that's who...Kids are just not kids any more, two or three hours on a computer and they can know as much as their parents do. Kids are growing up much faster and this requires a new type of guidance and mentoring role to be played by both educators, parents and leaders alike.

Kimberly from New York says:
I hope this tragedy causes us to: love children better and listen to children better. In order to do this, we may need to reflect on our daily interactions with our children, the institutions we take for granted, and the time and space our culture gives to family.

C.S. from Littleton says:
With the downfall of the Washington gun-control bill, we need to become even MORE verbal here in Colorado...I think we need even more peaceful protest marches to support gun control...I do not believe our fore-fathers intended the second amendment to be carried out to this extent. What America has done with the 2nd amendment is perverse and irresponsible.

Donna from South Carolina says:
We need to learn ourselves and begin teaching our Society the meaning of three words.....GOD, LOVE, AND RESPECT!

Mark from North Carolina says:
Why don't we treat firearms like motor vehicles? You don't get to drive until you pass the written and driver's test. Why shouldn't people have to take a MANDATORY gun safety class, a test, to own any type of firearm?...maybe this will cut down on the stupidity of gun accidents and murdering each other!

Luke from the United Kingdom says:
The most important thing is tighter gun laws. Guns were invented for killing things and replaced swords as the number one weapon for murder. Here in the UK hardly anyone has a gun...since an incident in this country in Dunblane Scotland, where many children died - there have been tighter gun laws and a total ban on handguns...the fact is there are always going to be people with a grudge and those mentally ill who want to kill. There have been those sort of people way before video games and movies were even invented, so please do not scapegoat these.

Megan from Louisiana says:
I think that we all should stop talking about doing all of these things, and make them a reality for us, the kids!! We can help too!!

Michael from Colorado says:
...carry picket signs that say "guns kill kids"...embarrass the phoney sellout (politicians) that are owned by the NRA...we gotta get tough and embarrass them with continuous high visiblilty picketting and protests.

Greg from Pennsylvania says:
...classes should be introduced into the junior high and high school curriculum that focus on a set of issues to prevent youth violence, to provide kids guidance about how to live with each other, and to help kids resolve personal problems they may encounter growing up.

Peg from Littleton says:
...the footage of what happened in L.A....sickened me. Those small
children holding hands and crossing the street, doing what we taught them to be safe but we could not protect them from the sickos in our society...we need stronger gun laws. Legislators need to turn their back on the gun lobby.

Shannon from North Carolina says:
I agree that if you need a license and training to operate a car, you need the same for guns as well. But why stop there? When you learn to drive, most schools make you watch grisly films on how unsafe driving impacts the lives of others. Why not show how unsafe gun ownership affects the lives of others?

Paul from Minnesota says:
Taking the guns away won't help. Putting more counselors at the school will help a little, but what really needs to be done starts at home. Parents need to care about what their kids do...Every parent who has a kid with problems has to face the problem, and not pretend that everything is OK. There are so many children who have friends for parents...but what they really need are...parents. People to care about them, discipline them, love them.

Bob from Connecticut says:
We don't need gun control, gun safety, gun licenseing, gun this, gun that. We need GUN ELIMINATION, PERIOD!!

Fred from Colorado believes:
That the teaching of evolution contributed to the actions of the killers at Columbine. Since they evolved from slime and are related to wild animals they felt they were accountable to no one.

John from New Jersey believes:
A greater application of the death penalty will take a bite out of crime.

Marty from Los Angeles says:
...view it as a public health problem to be addressed on multiple levels; treatment, prevention, comfort...spread prevention techniques and cautionary tales. (We must get) youth groups, gangs and others involved in conflict resolution, trying to avoid the gun mentalitity.

Kurt from California says: all comes down to PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY, or lack thereof. Violent kids do not come from loving, caring homes. They aren't just born to be hateful and violent---they learn it at home, and it festers and grows as they get older. If you have kids, tell them you love them TODAY! It's the best thing a kid can hear!

Diane from West Virginia says:
We must teach our children to respect others, because until they do, they can't respect themselves. Then we must show them that violence is not the answer, in any form. We must teach them the difference between fantasy and reality.

We must let our elected officials know that we are not going to stand by quietly and watch our children die. Hopefully, someday, the politicians will understand how important our childrens' safety is, and it can become as important to them as the N.R.A. seems to be.

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We are all Columbine!